A place to start

Haaa It's been forever since i've written anything, anywhere. I used to keep a journal, which detailed the daily happenings in my not-so-happening life. I think i had the tendency to over-dramatise everything and really insert depressing commentary where it may not always have been needed. Well, I was an imaginative kid. And it was fun!

I think the one sad thing about growing up older I should say, is that we are so caught up in life and our never-ending commitments that we cut back on the time spent on the things we used to do as kids. Things that we enjoyed, that made us happy and that really made us who we are. We may not realise it, but those things are probably the most important and it's such a waste how people abandon their originality and creativity just to "succeed" in life, according to what the world's standards of success.

That is me too. I am a person living in this world, but I'm trying not to be OF this world. Because, you have to agree with me, that this is one messed-up world. It's probably the furthest thing away from perfect and so am I. So a sinner in a sinful world doesn't help matters at all. Nope, math doesn't solve all problems, and in this case, two wrongs don't make a right.

That's why I feel it's so important to stay grounded and remain rooted to what keeps you, you. It's so easy, especially now in this overly-connected world, to be pushed and pulled and persuaded. And with so many signals from so many different directions, it's sometimes really hard to make out the lines that mark the boundaries.

I'm very thankful for other people in my life. In this life. I'm such a hopeless introvert and it's really quite sad because sometimes I feel like I'll never find a true friend. Like I almost always have to pretend just to feel loved and to do something/ please someone in order to be accepted. That no one will really appreciate me or like me for who I am as an individual and as a person. WELL, that's not the case. Nope, nope nope. Because I am a Christian, I know otherwise. And I also know that most of these depressing thoughts (that tend to hit me in my darkest hour) aren't from me or from God at all. I am also thankful that there are other people in this world. People who will probably never know of my existence but who help me get through life and fill it with much joy and laughter. I enjoy reading/ watching their work and gaining insights from their wisdom. It's really refreshing to have different perspective once in a while and to pop your head outside of the bubble of pitiful thoughts that always seems to be what I'm stuck in lately.

As life comes at me with its full force in the days to come, I'm thankful and glad that I have an outlet for it. Whether it be conversations with friends or family, scribbling it down in a notebook somewhere, or blogging I hope that I can catalogue more of my life as it happens.